Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
The air was thick with penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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