Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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