i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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