I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
