i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Randomize
