Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
