We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize