Buhtt sex?
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
