I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
