My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
