Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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