the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
