is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
