You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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