C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
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