did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
