took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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