too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
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I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
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I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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