i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Randomize
