I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
