I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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