Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize