You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
