omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
