the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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