you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
