hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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