Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
