Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
