I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
