what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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