I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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