awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
The adults are the big ones right?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
