Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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