Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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