he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
