but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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