Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
