that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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