I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
