HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
