I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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