So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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