At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
