It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
