Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
