you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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