Little spoons don't ask big questions
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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