I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
