so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
