Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
