i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
