I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
