my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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