Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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