I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
