We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
