remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
