I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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