I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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