Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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