Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
