hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
